The Rulez 2 Speaking Goode

First, let me preface this short blogpost by saying that, up until sixish years ago, I used to struggle to be sure which your/you’re warranted an apostrophe. Even now, I have to break up the contraction if I’m to feel completely at ease. Occasionally, someone will comment on a picture on Facebook, and because I also commented – six years ago – I receive a notification. Of course I’m curious, so I click the link, and there, for all THE WORLD to see, is my comment punctuated (pun intended) with errors. For half a second I consider leaving it be. Then I click the edit button, and finally, phew, I can breathe again.

Second, if I were to rate myself on a scale from one to ten, one being you are completely illiterate, ten being Grammar Girl and Dictionary.com follow you on Twitter, I would put myself at around . . . seven point four. (The point four because, thanks to a nifty-rifty trick, I recently learned how to use whom correctly, like, eighty percent of the time – WUT!?)

And third: due to the nature of this subject, I have second guessed and overthought every sentence I’ve written, paying painstakingly close attention to every single letter, wanting to be super-extra-positive sure that it contains ZERO errors. Which means, there’s probably a bunch.

So sue me, whydon’tcha.

All of this to say, if you happen to have a rap sheet chockfull of wordcrimes, it’s OK. At one time or another, we have all felt the dripping cold chill of realizing, yes, absolutely: you should have remembered of never follows could, should, or would. But hey, you see this right here (                           ) ?It’s a safe space, and you and I are in it.

So sit back, relax, and let Weird Al take you’re your Wednesday up a notch!

Just One Little Lette

So sorry about that wonky last post. I’m trying out this new media system called Hootsuite. Have you heard of it? Basically it’s the universal remote to your browser. You pin it at the top, and if ever there’s something you want to share with the public, Hoosuite is connected to your blog(s), your Facebook, and your Twitter. Also, you can schedule when you want the post, tweet, alert to go live. Pretty sweet, huh?

Oh . . . Hootsuite. I GET IT!

No, probably no connection there. And in case you were thinking to yourself “Wow, Cara’s really in the know,” let me walk over needle in hand and burst that little thought bubble. Like everything else that’s super cool and newfangled, my husband found Hootsuite in his little bag of tricks. If you’re interested, there’s a very brief video that explains how to use Hootsuite here.

Okay, onto what I meant to be posting about.

Have you seen these? Book covers with one letter missing? (Hence the missing letter in my post title; didn’t want you to think I was getting careles. <— see what I did there?)

I’m fairly easy to amuse and quick to laugh at silliness, but seriously, these really are terrifically clever!

 

a

 

b

 

d

 

c

 

e

 

g

 

h

 

j

 

k

 

m

So you know I had to try and come up with one. I don’t have the time – nor the ability – to create a graphic to go along with it but how about . . . . . . .

THE GIRL WITH THE EARL EARRING

Hah! Can you see it? Instead of a “pearl,” a tiny earl swings from her lobe, Indiana Jones-style.

a1

Okay, your turn. Go!

 

 

 

Original Source here

 

The One That Will Never Get Away

10 Years. Ten of them – IN A ROW. It’s not a little mind boggling when I really stop to think about it. Other than exist, I’ve never done anything for 10 years straight. Well, all right; I’ve brushed my teeth and shaved my legs, but only to avoid the unfortunate consequences caused by not doing those things. Which are, of course, wookie legs and gingivitis.

On May 22nd of this year my husband and I celebrated 10 years of marriage. He came home with a bouquet roses, a juicy fillet and asparagus, and a bottle of champagne I sucked on until the very last drop slithered down my gullet. He also got me a little something, which turned out to be a lottle something, because I am easily delighted and slightly manic and tend to get excited and make a VERY BIG deal about little things. Done well, they’re better than big things, I think.

He bought a dozen bags of Skittles, in a variety of flavors, then separated them – one by one – into mason jars, creating his own “special blends.”

I’m not going to lie. He knocked this one outta the friggin’ park. Not only are they pretty to look at, a confection of color, jars of art, but — SKITTLES. Yum.

skittles

We celebrated the day by staying home, drinking the whole bottle of champagne, and watching Jimmy Fallon clips on YouTube. It was fabulous. We will do BIG celebrating this summer when we road-trip-it to San Francisco for TEN days! One for every year. That wasn’t intentional, but I rather like it; it’s fitting and feels right.

But to be honest, a decade ago, as I waited for the pastor come collect me and my entourage, Canon in D Minor wafting up the staircase, I wasn’t sure I would ever see ten years. Most brides are blushing and glowing and flicking scepters are their poor indentured bridesmaids doing everything from blotting spackled lips to waving thuribles to ward off evil spirits. I was calm, serene even. Frigid as my feet were, I knew I would say “I do.” It’s true I love a good spectacle every now and again, but my wedding, a 15k affair, wasn’t the time for one. I would marry my husband because I told him I would, and because he was a good man that would love me and take care of me. And I would do the same. For how long – that was the question. My heart was a mess and there were tears in my eyes; tears my guests mistook for tears of joy, as I glided down the staircase, smiling on cue, aware of the camera capturing what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. I dutifully took my place beside my fiancé. A broken girl in a stunning white dress, I took his hands.

“We are gathered here today . . .”

The next thing I knew, ten years had passed. I decided to write my husband, Michael, a letter.

 

10th

Continue reading

April Fool’s Erasure Poetry

You will never believe it!!! Last night I was visited by a benevolent ogre who turned out to be a distant uncle on my father’s side (twice removed) and he bequeathed me a BILLION dollars, so Michael, Bella and I are moving to our own island in Figi! WOOOOO!

Eh? Didn’t fool you? Oh, you’re too smart. ;-)

 

erasure

April 1st marks the beginning of National Poetry Month, and in the spirit of April Fool’s Day, Silver Birch Press opened their arms for submissions. But not just any submissions. Have you ever heard of Erasure Poetry? I had not until I came across their blog. It’s an interesting concept in which certain words are blacked out or otherwise obscured in order to create a new piece of poetry. Whatever is not blacked out is the poem. I’m in between novels at the moment and thought this the perfect project (distraction) for the day.

These were the requirements:

- interpret “April Fool’s Day” as you will: humor, trickery, thoughts on the day. Then, using a book of your choice, locate page 41 to create an erasure poem.

As a prompt, here are definitions of “fool”:

Noun: A person who acts unwisely; a silly person.

Verb: Trick or deceive.

Adjective: Foolish or silly.

So. Let me just tell you . . . it was WAY harder than it sounded. I admit to initially sort of smirking at the task, thinking Oh yeah, I can do this. Gonna write me the best erasure poem there ever was. (Six hours laterI spent the entire day absorbed in this task; and that was simply creating the poem within the poem. Editing it took another 3 days, a LOT of photocopies, a few choice words, and a tremendously steady hand. I’m convinced I missed my calling as a brain surgeon. Can’t teach that. No, not really. Because I’m pretty sure they expect you to pass Algebra before they let touch brains, and personally I would rather metaphorically mess with people’s heads. Gently, of course. But it IS good thing I wasn’t weaning off coffee that week. Blacking out the words was time consuming and extremely tedious, but after all was said and done, I had some poems I liked. AND — I received word this morning that my poem made it in to the line up! They chose the one I liked least, but that’s okay. I’m honored they selected it. Thank you, Silver Birch Press!

If you’d like to read my poem, as well as some other incredibly lovely and creative pieces, then I’ve left you the link there at the bottom.

Misdirection

 

Happy April Fool’s Day, everyone! Stay silly!

 

~ Cara