San Francisco – Raw and Uncut

icon 10 years

Last May I paused for reflection. Reflecting is something I immensely enjoy once I’m doing it, but don’t do often enough because I tell myself too much is happening right this very moment to spend even a few moments thinking actively about the past. We live in fear of falling behind or missing out, and so we go, go, go until something happens to bring us to our knees, and it’s in that position we are finally inert long enough to notice where we’ve been. The peaks, the valleys, the plateaus. Some of it’s black and brittle, scorched by pain and charred with brokenness, but there, just beyond and up a little ways, is growth, healing. The past is no place to buy a home and raise a family, but it is a great place to drive by once in a while, especially during milestones.

When I consider some of the things that can be achieved over the course of a decade — graduating from the fourth grade, a decent bottle of Cabernet, hundreds of books read, the sheer number of toilet-paper squares and Q-tips — I’m more than a little awed by the fact that, in that time, Michael and I have never spent a night apart. Not a single one. But the substantially better reflection-worthy truth is that every single day for roughly three thousand, six hundred and fifty days, we have said Yes to each other.

Sometimes saying yes is easy, like for example when someone asks, “Would you like another piece of cake?” Yes, the answer is always yes.

And sometimes saying yes is incredibly difficult and makes your sphincter clench. “Can I borrow your (brand spanking new, never been opened) copy of Outlander?” . . .  yes; but which child will you be offering as collateral?

A great many of us are blessed and so fortunate to live in this part of the world that is constantly providing for us. Our haves largely outnumber our have nots. But it gets tricky where Love is concerned. The world gently thumps us on the back the way a mother coaxes a burp from her engorged infant, encouraging attitudes such as Mine, Me First, I Need. We look around – through windows, in magazines, at each other – and see that in order to be happy, we must always be acquiring the newest look or thing. Change is glamorized. Options are healthy. But what I’m noticing, in myself most of all, is that we are being taught to despise boredom. To fear it, even. If we are bored, if we are anything less than fully entertained, then it must be time for something new. Cut your hair, get a tattoo, buy a new outfit, purchase a new phone, renovate your kitchen, move to another state, fall in love with someone other than the one you’re dating/married to. I am guilty of all of these except two.

Once you decide to make another human being your forever person, saying Yes to them becomes a little harder to do each day. Their needs – which used to be a delight and honor to fill – become a nuisance, a bother, a bore. We struggle and we strain, because right over there is something fresh and green and affordable. I wonder it feels like, tastes like?

We do not have a perfect score. Our marriage is blotted and blemished with many Nos. There have been and are still times when I choose my comfort over Michael’s need. At night, when he is craving intimacy, and I am craving my body pillow and a book. Michael has put his shyness and dislike of confrontation before the protection of my heart. There is no such thing as the perfect marriage. But a happy one looks like saying Yes to each other when the world offers up alternative arrangements.

So, my darling, Michael, I dedicate this post to you, to our ten years, and to a thousand upon thousand more yeses.

 

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Because putting it off any longer would just be rude.

It’s going around I think: procrastination. Award season is among us. It’s funny, isn’t it, how they seem to come in waves of two’s and three’s, and then it will be quiet for a long period of time? I think this is because we are close-knit community who genuinely loves to support one another. Thus, we circulate the awards until they have made their way, like a jasmine scented breeze, to those we have come to appreciate, care for, are inspired by, learn from, etc…

The fact is, however, they are a whole-lotta work. This does not diminish my gratitude or appreciation for those finding me worthy of such an honor, but done right, they take time in responding to. There are the proper thanks to intromit, adhering to the regulations of receiving the award, nominating other bloggers, copying the links, copying the images, and so on and so forth.

I have four people to thank today. FOUR!

Jess, you started this whole thing. Darn you, and your heart-melting kindness.

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Pity’s Party — Table For Zero, Please.

It came down to a decision. When does it ever not, right? In a single year, you will make over three point seven billion decisions. Did you know that? No – I completely made that up, but the figure sounded feasible.

Everything from waking up in the morning and deciding whether or not to make your bed now, later or never, to stopping to pet the dog on the way into the kitchen, is a decision you do or do not make. Life: a sequence of choices and decisions.

I thought seriously about shaving my head this morning.

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A Smile, A Sigh, And A Laugh

In her post today, Christy, over at http://biggerinreallife.com/, announced,

“Ladies and gents, it’s been a long week. And it’s only Thursday.”

I couldn’t possibly have agreed with her more.

If you have a moment, go on over and take look; she posted some awesome pictures — some inspirational, some humorous. I felt compelled to do the same, and headed over to Pinterest to see what I could find.

This was a fun project, requiring very little of me mentally — which is good, because my brains are gooey. For those of you photographers, chefs, writers, and craft enthusiasts, you’ll know well what goes into composing a thought provoking, interesting, or visually appealing post. The only reason I have not taken to posting on a more frequent basis is because, by the time I hit publish it seems as though half my day has been lopped off.

I’m cheating today. I’m copying and pasting, and I’m not looking back.

Happy Thursday!

*****

My day does not begin until a ceramic handle is pressed into my palm.

Yes. Yes, it does.

There shall be dessert — always.

Banana Caramel Cream Dessert

Oh, Squirrel . . .

Buddha - I want to have your peace, your wisdom, your serenity, your divine nature AND your acorn hat!   Love, Squirrel #Squirrel #Buddha

Yes there is.

Thankful

I would very much like to write here.

Now this is setting.

Sound advice.

Well said . . .

Just call me Ja Ja Gabore. “Garcon!”

. . .

No joke — I peed myself when I found this.

too funny

Joy and happiness; there is a difference.

Be joyful, always. For you are a child of God!

This is a tough concept to learn, but learning it makes all the difference.

Found this on an inspirational website with lots of exercises, daily tips and motivation

Isolate from time to time.

snow.

I think someone wants to play fetch, hm?

"Mfptfbl????"

The mantra. “Press repeat.”

If ever there were to be words written indelibly on my heart, it would be these. Lord, it is for your glory that I seek greatness.

I smell a tutorial cooking.

Oatmeal Lemon Creme Bars

Well, when you put it that way . . .

I wanted to show you how I have already lost 24 pounds from a new natural weight loss product and want others to benefit aswell. Here is the site weight2122.com -   Found this on an inspirational website with lots of exercises, daily tips and motivation  #fitness #weight #fat #health #beauty

The best for last:

yes!

I wish you a blessed day, everyone.